I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize