Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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