I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
