My hand turned me down
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
