Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
