3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
