Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
