So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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