I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
