He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
