Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
