Christians are straight up FREAKS
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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