I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
