have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
