Duck Duck Cougar?
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Randomize
