It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Such a big mess for such a small penis
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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