it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
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