Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
i love accidental penises.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
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