Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
