We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
