We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
