Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Randomize
