we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize