well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
