Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
