I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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