Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
