I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
The adults are the big ones right?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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