the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
