Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
