Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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