I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I just want nice things and good sex
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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