his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
