hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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