Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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