i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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