Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I'd cum for enchiladas.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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