there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I just gargled with NyQuil
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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