you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
