She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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