I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize
