sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
