he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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