Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
