I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize