I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
