so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
