then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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