**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
