We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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