he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
He better not be in your backpack
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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