what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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