Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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