i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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