I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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