Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
