What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
i think i have herpe
just one?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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