butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
