i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
