yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
